My practice with parents is guided by recent research on adolescence and attachment. I strive to help parents with the following, guided by research* that shows:
•Parents need to recognize the continued importance of their relationship with their adolescence. They should be careful not to confuse adolescents' development of autonomy with rejection of the parental relationship.
• Parents need to be available to their adolescents, supportive and actively engaged in negotiation of increased autonomy and self-reliance.
• Parents need to anticipate that their adolescent will require increased availability and support during periods of transition, such as entry into high school. Parents should support their adolescent in effective planning and management of this transition.
• Parents need to support adolescents in their exploration of social norms by listening to concerns about social approval and peer pressure, discussing values and reasons for limit setting, and negotiating rules when appropriate. Parents need to monitor involvement in potentially dangerous situations and work with their adolescent to ensure safety.
• Parents must be careful not to disregard adolescents' real emotional difficulties by assuming that these are due to physical or hormonal changes associated with this period.
• Parents need to be careful not to dismiss problems in the adolescent-parent relationship as simply due to age, temperament or other child characteristics. Both they and their adolescent contribute to the quality of the relationship.
• Parents need to recognize the continued importance of their relationship with their adolescent for adjustment, despite their child's increased interest in and time spent with peers. Parents need to be aware of and monitor their adolescent's involvement with various peer groups and their activities at school.
• Parents need to understand that as adolescents move into romantic relationships they can benefit from parents' emotional support and guidance. Parents need to be available to adolescents to discuss their feelings, values and decision making regarding issues of intimacy and sexual involvement in romantic relationships.
• It is advisable that parents of children who have experienced extreme difficulty in early child-parent relationships anticipate the challenges of adolescence and assess the need for mental health support.
• Parents who recognize risk factors in themselves that may place their adolescent at risk for insecure attachment may benefit from counseling or therapy for their own difficulties, and/or to reduce the transmission of risk within the family.
*Adapted from, Attachment to Parents and Adjustment in Adolescence, Literature Review and Policy Implications, Anna Beth Doyle & Marlene M. Moretti. http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/dca-dea/publications/pdf/attachment_e.pdf
•Parents need to recognize the continued importance of their relationship with their adolescence. They should be careful not to confuse adolescents' development of autonomy with rejection of the parental relationship.
• Parents need to be available to their adolescents, supportive and actively engaged in negotiation of increased autonomy and self-reliance.
• Parents need to anticipate that their adolescent will require increased availability and support during periods of transition, such as entry into high school. Parents should support their adolescent in effective planning and management of this transition.
• Parents need to support adolescents in their exploration of social norms by listening to concerns about social approval and peer pressure, discussing values and reasons for limit setting, and negotiating rules when appropriate. Parents need to monitor involvement in potentially dangerous situations and work with their adolescent to ensure safety.
• Parents must be careful not to disregard adolescents' real emotional difficulties by assuming that these are due to physical or hormonal changes associated with this period.
• Parents need to be careful not to dismiss problems in the adolescent-parent relationship as simply due to age, temperament or other child characteristics. Both they and their adolescent contribute to the quality of the relationship.
• Parents need to recognize the continued importance of their relationship with their adolescent for adjustment, despite their child's increased interest in and time spent with peers. Parents need to be aware of and monitor their adolescent's involvement with various peer groups and their activities at school.
• Parents need to understand that as adolescents move into romantic relationships they can benefit from parents' emotional support and guidance. Parents need to be available to adolescents to discuss their feelings, values and decision making regarding issues of intimacy and sexual involvement in romantic relationships.
• It is advisable that parents of children who have experienced extreme difficulty in early child-parent relationships anticipate the challenges of adolescence and assess the need for mental health support.
• Parents who recognize risk factors in themselves that may place their adolescent at risk for insecure attachment may benefit from counseling or therapy for their own difficulties, and/or to reduce the transmission of risk within the family.
*Adapted from, Attachment to Parents and Adjustment in Adolescence, Literature Review and Policy Implications, Anna Beth Doyle & Marlene M. Moretti. http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/dca-dea/publications/pdf/attachment_e.pdf